10 days remaining

its so hard for me to realize that 10 days from now, ill be back in urbandale. back to the comfortable life ive lived for so long. not like im roughing it down here- my house has air conditioning, a flat screen tv, wireless internet, etc. but back to my life where i dont have to question what kind of home situation the people i interact with have. back to a nice neighborhood, where not only do people live in houses and not trailers, but theyre extremely nice houses. away from the place where everyone is related to each other somehow, away from diminishing dreams, abusive households, teenage mothers, racial tension. sure, we experience some of that in our safe place of urbandale, iowa. but its not the same as down here. a few weeks ago, i had a friend ask me if there was still racial differences here in mississippi. i told him yes, and shared the story of elizabeth perkins [a black woman], who couldnt get a best buy worker to locate her receipt for her. when andrew [a white man] called, however, the worker had no problem getting hold of it. andrew wasnt related to elizabeth and the receipt wasnt for him, but he could get the receipt right away. and then i shared how there are streets and houses here in cary, where you can tell which color of family lives there. just this past weekend, my roommates and i went to texas. while there, another friend asked about the racial tension in mississippi. amanda and geri shared some information that i hadnt heard yet. apparently there are no white students in the 600+ public school, which consists of 2 counties. there are also no black students in the private school, which has a significantly better education. churches will give out scholarships to go to the private school, but those clearly only go to white kids. a lot of the teachers in the public school are white, but they only work there because the benefits are better- and even they send their kids to the private school. once the teachers retire, they'll go and work at the private school. and of course the churches are pretty much completely segregated still. doesnt seem like america, does it?

i get excited when i think about going home. im looking forward to seeing my friends, spending time with my sisters and brother in law, hanging out with my parents, playing with my dog. but i get SO afraid of forgetting what ive learned. becoming ignorant of what i've seen and experienced. the mississippi delta is an amazing place, and i know God is working in it. there are many days when it seems hopeless and as if no progress is being made. but God is faithful, and He always provides. but once im back in urbandale, or back to my busy college life, will i remember these faces? will i remember jaylen, jakorren, lyndarius, or tyler? what about the middle school girls, who i fear could become pregnant any day? will they all just become a distant memory?